Monday 22 September 2008

Creepy Weirdos

Have you ever had a creepy weirdo following you around? The kind who on the surface looks just like a sweet kid with a crush, but in reality has you constantly looking over your shoulder, who keeps giving you small trinkets, who, despite many attempts to get them to back off, keeps trying to hold your hand or trying to kiss you, turns up everywhere you do online or even in real life, or even turns up at your house?

Needless to say, I've had more than my fair share of these.

They are the ones who are happy in their own head, who might entertain fantasies and believe they are real. They are the ones who might not realise that things like that are frightening, who might not realise that the person of their affections is not playing hard to get. They are almost always the quiet ones.

I still have a stuffed rottweiler in my room, with a heart with 'I love you' in it's mouth. It came on Valentine's Day three or four years ago, with a card professing undying love. It was anonymous, but I knew who it was from. How could I not? It was from the same boy who'd followed me around for years. Long after we'd left school, he even sent a letter, trying to get back in my life. I still remember the excitement I had in getting a handwritten letter turning to icy fear when I realised who it was from.

Thankfully, my boyfriend, A.D., was more than happy to have a 'chat' with him. I've not heard from him since.

Which brings me to the way to get rid of them. If you have suffered one, or are suffering one right now, you more than likely know that the softly, softly approach does not work. They just believe you're mistaken or that you do want them but are playing hard to get. They are so entrenched in denial that only being straight and tough will get through to them. There are a couple of ways to go about this.

One is to get your biggest/toughest/scariest friend or aquaintence and tell them what is going on and how it makes you feel. Get them to accompany you to the next place where your stalker is likely to turn up. And have your friend have a few choice words with them when they turn up. This brings a lot of satisfaction, but has a chance of going a bit wrong.

The other is more responsible and takes a bit longer. Tell them straight out that if they do not leave you alone, then you will get a restraining order put on them. It is important that you do not bluff, that you are certain that you will do it if they continue. From then on, keep a notebook and pen with you. Every time they continue to bother you, write down the date, time, and what it was they were doing to make you feel uncomfortable. If this does not scare them off, then you will have the evidence needed to have said restraining order put upon them.

Remember:

It's not your fault and you don't have to put up with it.

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